I was reading yesterday about the objectification of women, with a focus on self-objectification. Wikipedia has an interesting overview; one of the things it points out is that some feminists see self-objectification as empowerment, not as demeaning.
I confess that I am hardly qualified to speak on behalf of all women on this subject. But it doesn’t take an expert in women’s studies to see that women are objectified in myriad ways around the world. I don’t need to elaborate on that point.
I’m more interested today in self-objectification, and what it means to me and, perhaps, what I see in some other women. I confess that I do try to make myself as attractive as possible before I venture out into the world every day — from the eye shadow, mascara, foundation and lip colouring I apply to my face to the clothes I choose to wear, it’s all about looking as good as possible. I want men (and women) to think I’m sexy. So, yes, I guess I am self-objectifying, even if I am dressed conservatively and not wearing fishnets, stilettos and a mini-skirt.
Do I feel empowered when men show — either through subtle signals or outright flirting — that they desire me? Yes, I do feel empowered. Though, it is much different than being used unwillingly as a sex object: I would fight that tooth and nail. But, am I a bit of a tease? Sigh . . . Yes. But as the annual Slutwalks held around the world demonstrate, it doesn’t matter how women dress — there is never, ever cause for rape or other forms of sexual abuse.
The cosmetics and fashion industries thrive on women like me who want to look good. Women of all ages, I want to stress. Recently, I was sitting in the waiting room of a doctor’s office and there was an elderly woman, say in her 80s, holding a small mirror before her face while she applied lipstick. I thought, ‘it doesn’t matter how old we are — we still want to have sex appeal.’
Of course, not all of us are exhibitionists to the point of wanting to be magazine centerfolds. But I would if I could. I confess that there is an exhibitionist in me, though it is largely suppressed. But why do some of us want to stand out and bare it all and others are content to keep their sex appeal at more conservative levels? Again, I can’t speak for all women. I’m not even sure I can speak for myself, except that I think it has something to do with my upbringing in various foster homes, of feeling unloved back then, and always yearning for love and attention. Much like Marilyn Monroe, who was also raised in foster homes. I dunno. It’s just a theory.
How does all this relate to my newfound interest in nudism/naturism? I had wondered in a previous post if there was a link between exhibitionism (I didn’t use the word ‘self-objectification’ then) and nudism? Now, with some experience, I can say no, nudism is really not about exhibitionism — or self-objectification — for me. In fact, I am thinking that naturism might free me from the need — and it is a need — to self-objectify. I dunno . . . we’ll see.
But I am convinced that textiles and makeup are an integral part of self-objectification. Take the picture of me below, clicked about 6 years ago with a webcam: heels, knee socks, thong and bra, in a bedroom setting. Pretty suggestive, yes? If I took another picture with the same pose without the heels and textiles, you have a flat-footed naked person standing with her side to you. Not so suggestive anymore, I think. The clothes, however scant, make the difference. Yet the person is the same . . .
Much for me to think about in all of this. But I gotta go now . . . time to put on my makeup and head out to work.
Cheers
Jillian
Several thoughts:
1. Clothing doth make the man – and the woman. Very, very few people are better looking nude than clothed.
2. Exhibitionist, you. *gasp* Never, no, not you… Uhm yeah, big time.
3. Your role model, Marilyn Monroe, once said she’s fine with its being a man’s world, as long as she gets to be the woman in it. Of course she was referring to civilized men who understand that no means no.
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Yes, and you may be my biggest admirer, darling.
Hugs.
LaJ
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This photo is one for the keeps. You look a lot taller in the photo.
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Well, I am 5’10”.
Thanks!
Cheers
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first of all.. re: your pic? va va va voom.. you go gurl!!!!!
As for putting our best foot errr face forward? I have not left my house without makeup since I was 13 years old.. I remember buying Yardley’s Sunny Slicker lipstick & wearing it to high school. I was always a bit different. It was YELLOW.. while MOST of my friends wore Revlon’s Pearl Glace. Wow that just brought back warm memories..
Why not look our best and show the world we care about ourselves? It makes us feel good to know we look as good as we can.. no?
I would feel naked without my makeup.. it’s a habit like brushing our teeth.
As for that sweet 80 yr old lady? My mom was 88 when she died, and she NEVER went out of the house without her lipstick and mascara and blush..
So I say.. even if you don’t got it.. flaunt it!! You will feel better for sure! LOL…
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Those people who study such things believe that ancient people first started to wear clothing as a form of decoration. Subsequently people have adopted numerous means to decorate their bodies. Many people, mostly women I believe, spend an enormous amount of time in front of a mirror trying to make themselves look their best everyday before venturing out into the world.
I find it interesting that many nudists still do some of the usual things to decorate their bodies while they’re nude. Apparently they believe it is okay to go out without their clothes, but not without their makeup.
Please don’t take offense WS, but your first comment is the same as saying that most people would look better with a paper bag over their head.
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Very likely clothing started as decoration (see comments above about nudists wearing make-up and such). No offense taken. In fact, entirely possible that some people would look better with a paper bag over their head(s). However, I’m (mostly) not that extreme.
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Both the prudish and the pornographic views of the human body are sexually objectifying. The former treats the body as a sex object, and the latter sexually exploits that objectification. Our culture trains women to focus on their bodies as sexual attractions. Helpless to change the situation, many women try to profit from it by using the standard of youthful feminine face and form—enhanced or mimicked with fashion or cosmetic tools—to gain power with men. But this is a self-deception, if they’re seeking to gain authentic attention to their true selves.
On his TV show years ago, Red Skelton did a mime routine first with a wife coming home from a party into a bedroom where she took off heels, wig, girdle, bra with falsies, fake eyelashes and wiped off her make-up with a tissue, leaving them all on the vanity (aptly named). She gets into bed. Then her husband enters and before going to bed, stops and looks at the vanity, saying, “Goodnight, dear.”
In my blog article, “Objectification Sustained!” (which is geared to the religious aspect of this problem; http://pastordavidrn.blogspot.com/2015/04/objectification-sustained.html), I praise the astute secular voices that are boldly decrying this cultural conditioning. One link I provide there is to the TED Talk by Caroline Heldman on YouTube, “The Sexy Lie” (https://youtu.be/kMS4VJKekW8). It’s a dramatic statement enlightening young people to the emptiness of objectification and to the value of true self-affirmation.
Some women, no matter how hard they try to meet society’s beauty standards, will fail to measure up, based on the physical identity they were born with. Aging eventually disqualifies every female body. By investing our attention in this immature, superficial cultural game of self-portrayal, we are all losers, both women and men. In the end, as well as all along the way, we are being led to miss the deeper joy and more meaningful adventure in authentically ‘naked’ relationships between human souls.
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You make some very good points, David. Many feminists have lobbied hard against the Barbie Doll stereotypes, but it does seem to be a losing battle sometime.
As for aging, well, it doesn’t disqualify all elderly women from the beauty pageant: many still use cosmetics and such to enhance their “attractiveness.” I was sitting in the waiting room of a doctor’s office a while back and watched with some amusement as an elderly woman (80ish) held up a small mirror and touched up her lipstick. It was important to her.
And that goes for naturists, too: I’ve been to many social nudism events where some of the women are wearing makeup, nail polish, lip colouring etc. — including me. Yes, I know, it does seem like a double standard. But I — and many others — wouldn’t venture out of the house without lip colouring at the very least, unless I’m working in the garden or something.
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