In the comments section to the recent post about the male-female ratio in social nudism settings, some readers talked about the potential for inappropriate behaviour in settings where the male naturists far outnumber the female naturists. Inappropriate behaviour by men, mostly, toward the women.
Here’s the question: Have any of you actually seen this sort of thing happening in social nudism settings? How prevalent is it? Or is it mostly a non-issue, with only a few isolated incidents? And what was done about it?
I know that nudism organizations — as opposed to resorts — that have paid-up members expel people who sexually harass anyone or commit other inappropriate acts. But I imagine social nudism resorts are a little more difficult to control, though I may be wrong about that.
I offer this for discussion.
Jillian
I live in a large nudist resort–Laguna del Sol. Any inappropriate behavior is cause for immediate and permanent expulsion.
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I have no resort, and little club experience. My social naturist experience has been mostly limited to the local beach in the summer. The only time I saw inappropriate behavior there was, strangely enough, on my very first visit. Crystal Crescent Beach is not officially naturist, but has been used that way for decades, with grudging acceptance from those living in the immediate vicinity. There is an agreement with the RCMP that as long as nothing sexual happens on the beach, we can continue to use it. One end of the beach features a large outcropping of rocks that sometimes people climb onto and relax. There was a fairly moderate crowd that day, and I’d chatted with a few people and made some new friends. Suddenly one of them said, “Are those two guys doing what I think they’re doing?” Up on the rocks, one man was sitting down, his back to us, and the other man’s head was in his lap! Another of the beach regulars got out his binoculars and took a look, and said, “Yep, that’s what they’re doing.” I hadn’t met these two men, but someone said they were tourists from Germany. One of our group went towards the rocks and shouted up to them, “I don’t know what they do in Germany, but that’s considered very inappropriate here!” The men stopped, one of them waved. Then they just sat there for a long time, until finally getting dressed and going off to the nearby woods. In all my visits to the beach since that day, over fifteen years ago, I have yet to see anything else even remotely sexual on the beach.
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In my limited experience, I have never seen inappropriate behaviour by men to a woman, but I would not be surprised if I did either. Some guys are pretty boorish. Should it happen, then they should be kicked out of the venue. If that is not possible, then they should be chased away by the other guys there. Making someone uncomfortable spoils it for everyone.I have seen overt sexual behaviour between gay guys at a remote spot by the river. I have also been propositioned for sexual touching at the same spot. I tell them I’m not gay and it stops. From that point on I am accepted as a non participant. It’s really not a big deal, though for a woman it might be.
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We are members of two different resorts. One allows single males the other doesn’t. The one resort that does, many of those males appear to be gay by their actions and don’t seem to pose a problem for the ladies. The unattached guys seem to be the problem. As my wife says it’s staring that she finds uncomfortable and the occasional inappropriate remark either about parts of her body or that she looks like a fun person. The owner of the resort told me he tried letting the unattached in but they made too many others uncomfortable so he stopped and his resort is couples and families friendly. He has asked them to leave and not come back and it has not been limited single males, he has also kicked out a few couples for inappropriate behavior. BTW, we do not judge anyone if my comments appeared so, was not my intent.
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I’m an unattached male. When I was on my way to the beach for the first time, I admit I was a little worried. I’d never been around large groups of nude people of both genders before. What if I stared too much? Would I find my eyes wandering innapropriately? Well, I must admit that I did. I got there and saw the women, and right away my eyes wondered to their breasts, and down lower–for about thirty seconds! After that, my attitude was, “Okay, they’re naked. So what?” I made some new friends that day, and I am happy to say that even in conversing with the female ones, I never once felt tempted to let my eyes wander below their necks.
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THX for being a good nudist!!
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And my apologies to naturist women in general for those first thirty seconds! đŸ™‚
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You are forgiven, Brad . . .
Smiles . . .
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I have been to more than 50 nudist clubs, resorts, beaches, parks. At the clubs, I’ve never seen inappropriate behavior. No one wants to go to a hen party or smoker (all women or all men). Travelites does judge its members or prospective members by their behavior. If they act and socialize well, they are welcome to even visit our property when there is no special event scheduled.
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Unfortunately, it only takes a few seemingly clueless prats to behave badly and inappropriately for the owners of sun clubs to take the attitude that it just isn’t worth the grief and follow the path of least resistance. Why would you bother to indulge single men, unless you are effectively compelled by law if you know that you are going to get grief from your regular membership-paying clientèle? Whether the owner likes it or not, it is his other members who can and will dictate terms, more than anything else in the end of the day.
The interesting thing about the example quoted by sassycoupleok above is the examples of both poor behaviour by both single men and couples was cited. However, it was only single men who were excluded by default.
What gets me about any of these people, singles or couples, is that if on being approved for membership they are told that they will be banned immediately for staring or inappropriate behaviour or comments, why on earth do they go ahead and do it anyway? I mean “Hello, is anybody home”?
I do wish women could find it in themselves more often to stand up to these boorish individuals by calling them out there and then. It doesn’t really matter whether they are naked or fully clothed in any given context. It is also worth reflecting on the fact that these sorts of individuals also behave in a boorish manner towards everyone, including other males. Some of them like to claim that they are ‘real men’, a ‘man’s man’, the sort of man that women are really looking for, an alpha male, blah, blah, blah. The reality is that they are sad and pathetic sociopaths who probably have mild but detectable autistic traits and most of them will remain resolutely single for the majority of their sad lives. What really gets me, though, is the sad fact that there are undoubtedly women out there who enable them by pandering towards their behaviour because of the self-esteem and inadequacy issues they have themselves.
Another thing, one subject that never gets discussed is about women who get together in a pack and stare at men and make disparaging or insulting remarks about them, even if it is not in a naturist context. It is not an exclusively male trait, even if males have a tendency to do it more often, and in more diverse contexts, because of their greater confidence in respect of their physical size and strength and aggressive natures.
It reminds me, as an aside, of an experience I had as a twelve-year old school-kid when the notorious class bully suddenly found himself, during a break-time football kick-around, after blatantly and gratuitously kicking a number of others, being subject to a mobbing by about twenty fed-up class-mates who turned on him and started chanting “Kill, kill”. The look on his face as he almost crapped himself still makes me smile to this day. His days of bullying ended right there and then because he knew he no longer had any credibility as a bully. It may be un-PC, but boy is it satisfying as an immediate and commensurate response.
How about on applying for membership that compulsory membership photographs are taken for membership cards and tell everyone that if they misbehave, not only will they be banned immediately but their pictures will be published on the Internet along with an accompanying explanation that they have been banned from the club and why they have been banned. Should go down a treat. đŸ˜‰
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I can think of only three occasions over a couple of decades where I have encountered any inappropriate behaviour in a naturist environment, and on all three occasions it was between gay men; two on English naturist beaches, and one at the naturist area at the Ribersborg park in Malmo, Sweden.
I have not encountered men being inappropriate with women anywhere, and I have been to numerous naturist beaches around Europe (and the odd ones in the USA and NZ), the aforementioned Ribersborg park in Malmo, naturist clubs in Malmo and Leicester, and the Euronat naturist resort in France.
We had problems at Holkham Bay on the east coast of England last year because of inappropriate behaviour by gay men, not that I saw any of that because I didn’t bother going. Hopefully that has now been resolved and I might go back this year.
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Reblogged this on All Nudist.
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In the confines of a Naturist club or swim where the threat of expulsion would loom over anyone behaving inappropriately there never seems to be a problem. Perhaps those who might behave in this way simply don’t apply or quickly learn to alter their behaviour.
On unofficial Naturist beaches where only the ‘genuine’ Naturist is likely to know about its existence, I have never known a problem. It is the official Naturist beaches where the most trouble occurs, which leads me to believe that it is not the real Naturists who cause the problems that do exist, but rather people who are textiles at heart and just want a cheap thrill. I would argue that anyone not behaving in a decent manner is not a Naturist. How do you define a Naturist if not by his/her mindset with regard to nudity?
Official Naturist beaches have their place as there are some Naturists who dare not go elsewhere for fear of misguided arrest by (often off-duty) police ignorant of the law. Such mistakes can harm the careers of people in some professions such as teaching even though charges are often dropped when it is realised that no offence has been committed. By using an official beach such people hope to avoid arrest in the first place. Unfortunately the publicity that comes with official status can attract an undesirable element, so good management of the beach is required. Studland beach, near Poole in Dorset is an example of good beach management and is a very popular and safe Naturist beach as a consequence.
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I saw comments above about issues with single males staring. Ever heard the song by Carly Simon, goes something like “You’re so vain, I bet you think this song is about you?” Well, on my first visit to a CO beach (San Onofre), I was walking along the back edge of the beach to find a spot to lay my towel and looking past many nudists, out to the water. I was gazing at the military ships on the horizon. However, several nudists were yelling what i believe was “mind thoughts” at me. I ignored them because I was looking at the ships. I guess my point is, and maybe this isn’t true for every instance, that maybe the person isn’t looking at who or what you think they are (and even if they are, maybe they are admiring the person for an entirely different reason than you think). I can’t tell you how many times I have been hiking in a non-nudist environment and a woman thought I was looking at her. In reality, there was a group of hawks circling in the air past the woman and she had not observed them, but I had. This happens often. The woman just happens to be the person between me and the birds I want to see, and usually I change positions in the group so that’s not the case. Other times, I’ll just point out the birds when I interact with the person. But I’m sure some part of the rumor mill in the hiking club says I have roving eyes or whatever. Well, I am just going to keep enjoying the outdoors and its non-human scenery, despite what anyone thinks! I am a single, male naturist by the way, and I have been to a couple local resorts (Glen Eden and Deer Park).
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Good points, Chris. And I love that song by Carly Simon!
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My wife and I have beach and resort experience. At Blacks Beach we watched one guy rub sunscreen into his rather pronounced erection for about 15 minutes before he decided to take a walk. He must have asked about 20 women in our area to put sunscreen on his back.
At a club formerly known as Swallows (now a swingers club) outside San Diego, my wife was showering only to discover a guy masturbating about 20 feet from her just out of sight.
At Haulover in Miami I watched a guy “descretely” masturbating until a group encouraged him to leave and I can’t tell you how many times I have seen it at Hippie Hollow in Austin, TX, but it’s mostly among the gay men.
Sadly, as a long-time nudist I will tell you we have seen it almost everywhere at one point or another. But I will say that management (if there was any) was always good at dealing with it. It is the reason we don’t take our kids with us to nudist resorts…I don’t want them exposed to that.
Having said ALL of that, I am still, and always will, be a proponent of social nude recreation. It’s healthy, it’s relaxing and it is our right.
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When such behaviour happens here in the UK, it is mostly on beaches and is by non-naturists, but perverts hiding in the bushes or in the sand dunes. If such behaviour is committed on the beach itself then we will stand up for and chase off the offender. Most of the official beaches are patrolled by either a warden, lifeguard or the police. We will of course police the beaches ourselves and take the most appropriate action when necessary. I have not seen any such behaviour to date, but I have heard of isolate incidents
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