So . . . As a bisexual person, if I have an “affair” with a woman, is it “a lesbian affair”?
Well, at least one publication seems to be suggesting that it would be a lesbian affair. The Daily Mail has an article about Marilyn Monroe, who it says had a “lesbian affair” with her drama teacher as well as “lesbian flings” with a few other actresses.
Sounds to me like Marilyn was a bisexual person . . . and, yes, we are many, even if a lot of people don’t really acknowledge bisexuality.
Personally, I don’t see a bisexual woman’s relationship with another woman as “a lesbian affair,” even if the other woman self-defines as a lesbian. Because both people would have to identify as lesbians for it to be a true “lesbian affair,” yes? (And Marilyn did have relationships with men, too.)
OK, I know I am splitting hairs here, as copy editors are wont to do sometimes. We can be the geeks of the words business sometimes. And my head is hurting . . .
It’s just that too often in media reports, our bisexual identity seems to get wiped out by the other sexual orientation identities.
So, in defence of Marilyn and me and all the other bisexuals out there: if people must use labels — and I bet Marilyn didn’t — we have “bisexual affairs.” But maybe it would be better to leave out the labels altogether.
Of course, for a newspaper headline, “Marilyn Monroe had lesbian affair” probably has more reader click appeal than “Marilyn Monroe had an affair with a woman.”
Which is another subject I plan to write about: the difference between good SEO (search engine optimization) journalism headlines and click-bait headlines.
Labels try to put people in a little box and many people don;t fit into one box.
You are a bisexual in a monogamous relationship with a woman who prefers
Therefore, and it’s all annoying word splitting here, you are in a bisexual woman in a lesbian relationship. for labeling purpose
To me MM had relationships with men and women, No labels. Simple truth.
I would agree with Jasper1949, however Jillian, I have a question for you…. Is being labelled a Lesbian a problem for you ? and if so why ??
Well, I am a bisexual, and bisexual people are always being given short shrift. Of all the LGBT people, bisexuals are taken the least seriously.
Really ? I haven’t heard of anyone being barred from a hotel for being bisexual….
Maybe you’d like a special parking space at the shopping centre ? There are so many minorities crying about how hard done by they are when in reality you/ they have to make the conscious decision to make it a positive !!!
If you can’t turn it into a positive then I’m pretty sure it’s not for you..
What is the definition of bisexual ? clearly it’s in the name, sex is between a man & a woman, or a man & a man or a woman & a woman, one is heterosexual, one is gay the other is lesbianism, I believe most of the issues are internal struggles that only the person/s concerned can rectify……. ultimately you can ban me from your blog or delete my post like so many other posts on here, but you can’t run away from the truth
Martin, why does a relatively lighthearted post like this one make you angry and want to lash out, and in effect dismiss bisexual people like so many other people do?
I only delete or edit reader comments here if they are inflammatory and unfairly attack — through name-calling and such — other people who have commented here.
And sometimes, some readers don’t seem to realize that all comments are moderated here, and so post the same one over and over again, perhaps thinking the first ones didn’t go through. In that case, I post the last one they did.
As for bisexuality, it is about more than sex. Bisexual people can fall as deeply in love with a man as they can with a woman.
I think it is unfair to dismiss their concerns out of hand just because you think they are trivial.
As for my blogs, I devote my free time to them standing up for all sorts of human rights. Bisexuality is a very small part of this blog, but I do have bisexual readers who care about the subject and expect me to write about it once in a while.
All that said, sometimes if you disagree with someone or think a subject is dumb, it is better to say nothing at all rather than attack them.
Please Jillian, show me where I am “lashing” out at bisexuality ? Or indeed where I “dismiss” bisexuality ?? you are bisexual so what !!! the only people that
make a fuss are a small minority of bisexual people and an equally small minority of none bisexual people…… would you rather people
said “oh look there’s a bisexual couple” or “oh look there’s a loving couple” because wanting more recognition for your “group/gender/religion/race” is
what is causing segregation in the world. Putting a label on something is just another way of adding a number…. I am not a number I am a bisexual / Christian / etc
Quote>”As for bisexuality, it is about more than sex. Bisexual people can fall as deeply in love with a man as they can with a woman.””I think it is unfair to dismiss their concerns out of hand just because you think they are trivial.””All that said, sometimes if you disagree with someone or think a subject is dumb, it is better to say nothing at all rather than attack them.”<unquote
I'm a little confused what has this to do with the above ?
I think bisexuals are more evolved. I don;t buy the disparaging argument that bisexuals are confused or wishy washy. By being able to be attracted to and possibly to love persons of either gender opens more doors for relationships friendships and happiness. Too often I have seen both straight and LGBT people end or back away from getting to know someone simply because of sexual identification and peer pressure from a more defined group
Me ? Oh, apparently I’m heterosexual, I have a broad open minded approach to most things, i’ve seen more bad things than 99% of the population can even imagine !!!
What somebody chooses to do with somebody else within a caring relationship doesn’t bother me at all …..
Not when we have 200,000 people being murdered by a “religion” and children being sold off as sex slaves etc etc…..
You will never get parity until LGBT is changed to LGBTH ….
LGBT is a label either self given or made up in much the same way as agnostic or atheist, I am against labels, I am a labelaphobic lol !!! the irony …
labels are just slightly modified numbers !!!
down with labels …. join my new group anti-labels, protest against labels