I applaud retired dominatrix Terri-Jean Bedford for her battle against Canada’s prostitution laws and, now, against the Conservative government’s Bill C-36.

But I won’t be applauding if she — and others in the trade — rat out some of their politician customers, as she has suggested she might do. (See Postmedia News column by Stephen Maher.)

That’s a complete no-no, no matter who those customers may be.

When a client engages the services of a domme/dom or prostitute/gigolo in a successful mutually satisfying encounter, “discretion” is the key word. But if those who provide the services don’t keep their word and go public, they hurt the credibility of everyone in those professions. And credibility is what Ms. Bedford and others are pushing here: they want the Canadian government to respect the fact that some women and men WANT to sell their services, and they want to do it legally and safely, and even pay taxes.

So, I urge Ms. Bedford to keep fighting the good fight, but keep it above the belt. Your customers paid their money in good faith. Win this battle with honour.

Because, you know, even if the bill becomes law, it will be challenged . . . and business will continue in the meantime.

(Winks)

Note that I refer to “professions” above. I’m not sure where the line is drawn between prostitution and being a dominatrix, or domina — the label I prefer. A prostitute almost always povides sex, while a domina seldom provides it. Yes, a domina might flog you, or tie you up and tease you, or make you do the housework in the buff or employ other BDSM and D/s games and rituals in a session, but she will almost always deny you an orgasm. She probably won’t even touch your genitals — you should be so lucky, sub! lol. That’s part of the BDSM scene: it’s not about sex at all. It’s about the exchange of power and control between a domina and her submissive. It takes a while to develop the interplay in that sort of relationship. But denial of orgasms is key for a domina’s control over her sub — cause you all know what happens after a guy has his  orgasm, i.e.  snore . . .

Indeed, a sub is usually left to take care of his orgasm himself later, perhaps when reflecting upon the fantasy he has just fulfilled by serving his beloved domina.

Don’t ask me how I know all this . . .

It would seem to be much safer and cleaner, though, for a woman to be a domina as opposed to a prostitute. I suspect she could make a lot more money, too. And one is really never too old to be a domina — because some subby guys love serving — and being punished by — older women.

As for just how legal it is to be a domina who doesn’t give her clients orgasms, I dunno. One self-described pro dominatrix I interviewed several years ago told me that as long as she didn’t engage in acts of sex with her subby clients, she believed she wasn’t breaking any laws.

— Jillian