There ought to be a law against March.

It’s the Judas of the 12 months: sneaky, deceptive and downright treacherous.

One day it’s warm and sweet, the next it’s spitting freezing rain and heavy snow at us.

And while they’re at it, lawmakers should be eliminating spring from the seasons in some places.

Spring is a myth — and blasphemy — in most of Canada and in some northern U.S. states. It never arrives on its appointed day on the calendar. It’s as elusive as Santa is on Christmas Day. And, like Santa, spring never comes at all.

In Quebec, we go from winter to summer overnight — some time in May. Then, 12 weeks later, autumn begins.

Indeed, lawmakers should be reconsidering the start dates for the remaining three seasons:

Autumn, Aug. 21.

Winter, Nov. 1.

Summer, May 23.

And, why ‘o why, hasn’t man learned how to control the weather yet?

Who’ll stop the freezing rain?

Who’ll stop the snow?

And why wasn’t I born in some warm, tropical place where such concerns don’t exist?

Sigh . . .

— Jillian

Photo: Does this look like spring?! The view outside my window on on March 25, 2017. (Source: Jillian Page)