You know the app is coming to a play store near you soon.
“Tap here to find a local retailer with toilet paper in stock . . .”
In times of mass fear and anticipation, toilet paper is the go-to item, apparently.
(Note to self: check out the stock prices of bathroom tissue companies.)
I get it, of course. Nobody wants to get caught with their pants down and a dirty bum and no toilet paper.
“How did they wipe themselves in days of old, anyway?”
I googled it. Nope, not going back there. Improvisation is not an option.
We bought one package of 24 rolls at the local Wal-mart, which was fully stocked. Yes, I know our supply won’t last long if the coronavirus suddenly ends the world as we know it. I’ll chance it . . . this time.
Honestly, I really wish a Where to Find Toilet Paper app wasn’t necessary. But let’s face it: when civilization crumbles and credit cards and debit cards and cash and gold have no value, toilet paper will be the new currency.
And surely that is what is driving the run on bathroom tissue in some cities these days. At least, for some, umm, investors. Of course, it’s early days yet. Sitting on a basement full of toilet paper could be a mid-term or even long-term investment.
And there’s the risk that fire or floods or another calamity could wipe out the stock. Or theft . . . by a crazed mob . . . of apocalyptic zombies . . .
It’s a crapshoot. (Oy. I can hear you groaning.)
I’m thinking that not long after the Where to Find Toilet Paper app makes its debut, we’ll start seeing mainstream media articles about alternatives to “bathroom tissue.”
And that will most certainly be yet another sign of, er, the end, won’t it?
Click . . .
hey, there’s big Sales on OLED Flat-screen TVs. Stampedes at major retailers. We are an infuriating species. We could learn well from Third World nations. Or maybe on the FN reserves up north. Good side, Spring is coming. And so is tornado season %@%P
Funny that it isn’t the crisis that causes the shortage but the reaction to the crisis.
I would not be spending my last days of outdoor freedom in a store lineup fighting for toilet paper. Okay, I know we need toilet paper, The pages of the old Sears catalogue won’t flush down the toilet, nor will the leaves from plants won’t break down fast enough to prevent eventual clogging. But why do we need to hoard alcohol wipes, paper towels or boxes of Kleenex? But if you are at the store buying tp, buy some damn bars of soap. If you get quarantined, you will have an abundance of time to wash your hands properly.
I don’t really understand the hoarding toilet paper thing. “The world is ending, there may riots, infrastructure collapse, no emergency services, no food, no pure water… but at least I’ll be able to properly wipe my butt.” Costco completely out of t.p. By happy coincidence, since I can’t count, several weeks ago, I ordered too much. (I ordered 2 packages, not realizing that each order was itself 2 packages.) I think we’ll make it at least until the end of the panic (or the zombie apocalypse, whichever happens first).
Addendum about alternatives: the neck of a goose.
I understand this toilet paper obsession started in Japan back in the 70s. If I were to hoard, this wouldn’t be the stuff. Go for potatoes and sacks of rice. Maybe beans or canned meat. Spic and Span or Chlorox cleaner – and old rags.
It is funny to see shelved emptied of everything when there’s still food in the produce department.