I’ve been asking God recently why he likes to torture us.

Is it some sort of thrill?

Mankind, know thyself.

Yah, right.


Yes, I got answers.

My despair belies my spiritual convictions.

That feeling in my heart.

In my gut.

We all have these moments.

They haunt us in our earliest thoughts through to our last breath.

It’s what makes people do some crazy things.

In the end, does it matter?

Does anything matter?

There are 8 billion tragedies, and counting.

Or is it 8 billion glorious liberations?

It doesn’t seem right that we don’t have a definitive answer.

Finite vs. infinite, that is the question?

Once in a while, I’m scared.

The Shaolin persona is overcome.

Oh, God, why has thou forsaken me?

Forsaken us?


Invariably, there’s a glimmer . . .

A reminder.

Trust in the nature of things.

I know. I know. I know.

That’s a given.

Close my eyes.

Go with the flow

in the bosom of the universe.






— Jillian

P.S. A free-flowing soundtrack for the above, from Quebec