BRAKING NEWS: Invisible patrol car being tested in the Laurentians
By JILLIAN PAGE
MONT-ROLAND – Drivers, beware!
Authorities from the Mont-Roland constabulary in the Laurentians are testing a new cloaking device that virtually renders a patrol car invisible.
“It’s quite the breakthrough,” Constable Joe LeSnoop explained enthusiastically. “It’s the perfect speed trap, day or night.”
Perfect, he said, because sharp-eyed drivers often spot traditional speed traps. But there is no chance of that with the invisible car, LeSnoop said.
The technology was developed by a local citizen who offered it to the precinct to test before going public with his invention. The force is testing the device in a low-traffic area for now before trying it out on major arteries.
But not everybody is happy about the new technology.
“It’s not fair at all,” said one middle-aged driver ticketed by LeSnoop. He asked to remain anonymous. “The patrol car appeared out of thin air, with lights flashing and siren wailing. It scared the crap out of me. I thought I was hallucinating, having an acid flashback or something. Not that I do that sort of stuff anymore,” he added quickly.
Constable LeSnoop had little sympathy for him. “He shouldn’t have been speeding. Obey the speed limits and you have nothing to worry about.”
The driver disagreed, pointing out that there could be a safety hazard. “You can’t go parking invisible cars on the road!” he said incredulously. “People are sure to smash into them!”
Constable LeSnoop nodded his head. “Yes, that is one of the things we have to work out. We have to be sure we’re parked in a spot where nobody can possibly bang into us. Today, I think I am parked far enough over, at the foot of someone’s driveway. And we made sure the homeowner was aware we were using his driveway.”
But he agreed that if, say, the driver of the car had turned in at the driveway, he would have got a much nastier surprise than a speeding ticket.
“That’s why we’re testing it out in remote areas like this first. There’s not much traffic here, less chance of a collision.
And, he added: “It also gives us a chance to nab the speeders in places like this. It’s for their own safety — you never know when a deer or a moose could jump out into the road. People have to drive cautiously in this neck of the woods.”
There is another bug to work out before the device can be widely used, one that will have drivers breathing a sigh of relief, if only temporarily.
Explained Constable LeSnoop: “We’re not sure why, but the cloaking device only works on one day of the year . . . April 1.”
P.S. Now, nobody actually fell for this corny April Fool’s Day prank, did they? I mean, invisible cop cars!? lol. Maybe some day, but not now . . . I think. Then again . . . Better watch your speed, eh?
Happy April Fool’s Day!