As someone who was raised in foster homes, I was very aware back then that it was mostly about money for my various foster parents: they were paid for giving me room and board. My clothes were provided by the family services agency.
This is not to say that the foster parents were motivated only by money, but I knew that if they weren’t getting those monthly cheques, I wouldn’t have been living in their homes. In short, I did feel like a meal ticket, and an outsider . . . a boarder, actually. I never felt like I truly belonged in those families.
I’m reminded of this today after reading an article about a white lesbian couple who have filed suit against a sperm bank. Reports the Chicago Tribune on Oct. 1: “A white Ohio woman is suing a Downers Grove-based sperm bank, alleging that the company mistakenly gave her vials from an African-American donor, a fact that she said has made it difficult for her and her same-sex partner to raise their now 2-year-old daughter in an all-white community.”
Apparently, the couple loves their child very much, but raising the mixed-race girl has been stressful . . . So, they are seeking more than $50,000, the Advocate is reporting.
This makes me want to cry in the same way I cried sometimes as a kid over my situation.
I can’t really comment more about the women’s lawsuit. But I can say that some day, the child will know about it. And it might hurt.
And the hurt never really goes away.