Yup. Who needs breast implants? Now that I am home from the hospital with aching and somewhat bloated belly, I’ve discovered that my breasts are somewhat larger than they were before I started on my voyage of medical discovery this week.

No doubt the saline solution drip bags hooked up to my arm are responsible — though my arm did not get any bigger (a mystery of life, yes?). I also notice that my face filled out a little bit, which is a good thing because I have lines on my face that I wish I could erase.

One of the reasons I have lines, no doubt, is because I never drink enough water. They say you should drink up to eight glasses a day. And, no, coffee doesn’t count as a cup of water, even if it has water in it. I happen to love coffee, much more than plain water, which further explains the lines. I have consumed a lot of coffee in my lifetime, though I am vowing to cut back now and . . . drink more water!

Anyway, one of the morals of the story is: if you want bigger boobs, you may not need to get breast implants. Just consume more water, preferably by drinking it rather than receiving it from an IV bag.

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Thanks to everybody for your well-wishes. They were very comforting while I was lying in hospital beds. The things I have seen, the emotions I have felt . . . I’ll write a couple of posts about them.

Cheers (with a glass of water)

— Jillian